‘Still Loved’…my review

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As part of Baby Loss Awareness Week, Dave (my lovely hubby) and I decided we’d go to see a screening of the film ‘Still Loved’, a film that explores life after having a stillborn child, surviving baby loss and how it affects people in so many different ways. It was held at The Everyman Cinema in Harrogate and hosted by the wonderful charity Our Angels. 

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Why we’re wading through shit…

 

My first ever blog post. It is finally happening. I have so many things to write about but I thought I’d start with why the blog is named what it is and share with you my pregnancy journey.

In 2015 I had an ectopic pregnancy and very nearly lost my life. It resulted in me losing my right fallopian tube. To say we were devastated is an understatement. We were broken. We had been so naïve in thinking that when we fell pregnant, that was it, we were going to have a baby. However, an ectopic pregnancy occurs to 2 in every 100 pregnancies and we were one of the unfortunate ones.

We grieved for the baby we lost for months but by last summer, after a holiday in Spain, we were finally starting to heal. We began trying again knowing that our chances of falling pregnant were slimmer but we still had good odds. January 31st of this year we were absolutely thrilled to find out we were expecting again. I say thrilled, this time itJan 31st 2017 was less exciting. It was now filled with anxiety and dread that this would be another ectopic and I would lose my remaining tube. We had an early scan at 6 weeks and the sonographer found a yolk sac, this confirmed that the pregnancy wasn’t ectopic, the pregnancy was in the right place but because she couldn’t see the fetal pole yet we had to go back two weeks later. Cue two weeks of still panicking, was our baby going to be there when we went back? I remember trying to remain hopeful but I also had prepared myself for the worst. I had resigned myself to the fact that this wasn’t going to happen for us and we were going to have to explore other avenues. The 8 week scan arrived and lo and behold, there was our baby. A baby in the right place with a beautiful beating heart. The sigh of relief and tears that followed. We went for cautious celebratory pancakes. Was this actually happening?

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